It happened! I try not to weep while trying to wrap my head around the eventual occurrence. It was inevitable. He finally walked away. I knew it would happen. I prayed that it would happen. I prepared for it but when it finally happened, I felt a tightening in my rib cage. I felt a constriction in my stomach walls. It happened to me and I am sad. To move on is not an option. To stay back at one spot and mourn is not an option. I suddenly realized that I made the preparations only in my head. My heart and my mind stayed aloof and watched my head spin bales and bales of gold out of cotton. Now is the time to get all three to agree and take a firm decision. It has happened and that is the reality. Life has not been shortened and it is still here for me to live and enjoy.
The sunshine all arrayed in tiny bursts of excitement and the rain cascading in shimmers of sweet droplets. I embrace it all and I hold my chin up. I refuse to be deterred. Lonely nights are here. How long? That is me thinking it forward. This must stop. I know not what tomorrow holds but I know that I can make today exciting if only I stop thinking it forward.
When I finally behold tomorrow, I will embrace it with the joy of one that readied and was expectant. I will not come into tomorrow with the pent up anger of yesterday and the uncertainties of today. My tomorrow is there for me to enjoy, a blank slate with flowing inks waiting for me to write what it should deliver to me. I am ready and I joyously look forward to the merry moments of my tomorrow.
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